One thing I have learned these past few months: Life.Is.Hard. I just turned 15 like 15 days ago. I don't know if it's just me, but I didn't think a 15-year-old's life was supposed to be this complicated. Between school, drama, work, boys, family, studying for my driver's permit...I don't have barely any ME time. Everything just seems so hectic and fast-pased. My head feels like I'm stuck on a Tilt-O-Whirl and I can't get off. Maybe I'm just going crazy. I don't know anymore. BLAHH. That word has been describing everything for me lately!
If a year ago I could look forward and see what my life is like now, I wouldn't have belived it. So many things have changed. Some of them good, most of them good. But a lot of bad things have happened too. It's just all so crazy! When I was little, I couldn't wait to be "grown-up". I couldn't wait to be a teenager and go off with my friends whenever I wanted to. I had this crazy idea in my head that everything would be better and I wouldn't have care in the world. I wouldn't have any problems and I would always be happy. I was so far beyond wrong.. I would give ANYTHING to go back to when I was little. The hardest decision I had to make was what I wanted for my birthday party theme to be, or what cartoon I wanted to watch that Saturday morning, or what I wanted Santa Clause to bring me on Christmas morning. I would absolutely love to have all of that back.
I've been thinking a lot lately, too. There are so many good things that I could be doing. But what am I doing instead? I'm dealing with drama or reading or getting on Facebook. I've finally come to the conclusion that I am a stu-up, spoiled, brat. I litteraly get everything that I want. There are people out there that don't even have food to put on their tables. And I'm not like just talking about people in Third-World countries. I'm talking about people in this country, this state, this town! No matter how bad I have it (which is never really bad at all), there is always someone that has it worse. So, I'm redoing my New Year's Resolution. I know, I know what you're thinking. "It's already February..it's a little late to change it ain't it?" Well, no it isn't. I'm not going to tell you what I changed it from, but I'm changing it to do more volunteer work. And I'm serious. I love to help people in any way that I can, and considering that I'm only 15 and I'm not even old enough to get a job yet, this is the only thing I can think of. Charity.
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