When I think about the past, I do regret some things. A lot of things actually. There are countless things that I would do differently. If only I had the chance to. But I don't. That's the way how life always is though, isn't it?
If only... But this is the whole reason that I made this. To let out a little of feeling: anger, sorrow, happiness, regret. This post, however, centers around regret.
I regret letting people go in my life. But yet again, a little part of me also regrets letting them into my life to begin with. So many things could have been easier if I wouldn't have even let them in. But I did. And I have so many wonderful memories. But when I think about it, there are more bad memories than good. But the good memories, they can totally overpower the bad ones. That's how good they are. But sometimes, I guess you just have to give in. You have to let go of all the good things to make things right. It's hard, but it's just something that has to be done.
I also regret making new friends. It's not the people I've met, it's the way I met them. I feel like a horrible person for it. I've toyed with their emotions and made them believe my convincing lies. I can never tell them the truth, though, because I could not stand to lose them. Through hurting them, I've only hurt myself. I've hurt myself more than I have hurt them, I know this for a fact. The sad thing though, is that I don't even really remember why I did it. Well, I do, but it just doesn't seem to make any sense, or not as near much as it used to. It all actually seems stupid, it IS stupid. But, I have let myself fall to deep. And I have no possible way out. I do feel selfish and mean. I would love to say that if I could go back and change it all to good, I would do it. But I can't say that. It would be the biggest lie ever told. I wouldn't change anything. I couldn't change anything. Because, if I changed it, then I would never have gotten to know this person so well and I would have missed out on the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire lifetime. It sounds very greedy and horrible, I know. But it's just the truth.
No comments:
Post a Comment